Monat Mo' Problemz

Ever since I started my blog, I’ve received a steady flow of DMs from women who sell Monat. For those of you who don’t know, Monat is the MLM of the hair care world. All of these DMs are nearly identical. “Hey girl! I came across your profile and love it! I work for an exclusive natural hair product line that has helped women with alopecia...etc etc etc.”  At first, I wasn’t super bothered by it. I’ve been there. I used to be a beachbody coach and I know allllll about how this MLM world works. And if I’m being perfectly honest, I still feel icky about the messages I sent people to get them to buy product and/or join my team. BARF! Can we add dipping my toe into the MLM world to the robust list of things I regret from my 20s? Somewhere in between plucking my eyebrows down to tiiiiiny lines and frat boys.  

Anyways back to Monat. Guys, I’m annoyed. Not so much at the people who message me, but more so at Monat for feeding these lines to these women who have NO CLUE (sorry in advance for the caps lock yells) what alopecia truly entails or feels like. Say it with me…Alopecia is an autoimmune disease and THERE IS NO CURE FOR ALOPECIA (screams with a quivering lip and tear). Spontaneous regeneration can always happen. Meaning your immune system can calm the F down and your hair can grow back. It happens all the time. It’s the reason why I have a random wild turnip of hair growing on the back of my head while the rest of me is as bald as a Beluga Whale. Even the medical treatments are not a cure. Instead they suppress your immune system which can cause your hair to grow back. There is no guarantee though, and the only medication that has shown consistent results requires you to take it for the rest of your life. Otherwise say bye bye to your hair all over again. 

Which means if Monat actually did a damn thing to help women with alopecia, literally every baldie I know would keep gallon jugs of it in their bathrooms. It is so hard though. When you have alopecia, there can be a long period of frantic cure searching. It is a deep rooted desperation to get your hair back at all costs. Monat is coaching its sales peeps to prey on this. Plain and simple. Sure, they may have a handful of “testimonials” from women who claim they got their hair back because of it. Sure, they probably have a doc or two who got paid to talk about how it is the cure all! Truth is, those are the outliers. Those are the youtube videos they will send you to get your hopes up and wallets empty. I mean you guys, I used to sell shakeology and the number of times I shared videos about how shakeology cures XYZ is just so embarrassing. At the time I believed it. I believed that these videos had to be true and would help me grow my biz into a massive cash cow. SMH. 

Now truly, this blog isn’t here to bash the living poop out of MLMs. I can respect the hustle. What I can’t respect is sliding into the DMs of someone who is so heartbroken and devastated by their hair loss and preying on that to make a quick product sale. The ick factor of that is NEXT LEVEL.

All of this to say, leave your local baldies alone, go sell to your friends who have hair, and if I get another voice message in my DMs from a Monat sales person, I may flush my phone down the toilet. That is all friends. That is all. 

PS on a completely unrelated note, I accidently burned pasta today. So that happened…womp womp!