Drop It Like Its Hot

On Saturday I dedicated my evening to a wild night of sipping beers and washing wigs. Nothing says party like awkwardly sitting on the bathroom floor while washing an expensive pile of hair in a bucket. After 2 hours of air drying, I set up my normal drying station. Blow dryer, hair products, flat iron, brush, and ipad. I don’t fully understand why it takes me 78974545512 times more time to dry my wig hair than it did my bio hair, but this is just one of the many medical mysteries of alopecia. To help kill some time, I always throw on a bingey TV show. I am one of those weirdos who will binge watch the same show 1-2x a year for the rest of eternity. This week’s choice was Sex and the City. Do you guys remember the episode when Samantha and Carrie go wig shopping after Samantha lost her hair to chemo? It goes something like this: 

Wig shop owner: [places wig on Samantha] This is Candy. Shes very popular.

Samantha: I dont think you're listening. I dont want to look like Candy, I just want to look like myself.

Wig shop owner: Ma'am, these are wigs. They're not ever gonna look exactly like you. 

Samantha: That is not acceptable 

Wig shop owner: We could style the bangs. 

Samantha: Don't touch my head. 

Wig shop owner: I've worked with many women with cancer. 

Samantha: I don't have cancer. I have a premier and I don't want some second rate wig named after a hooker. My hair is my thing. This [hands wig back] is bull shit. 

I just sat there and laughed. Holy relatable batman. “I just want to look like myself”. There came a point on my alopecia journey where I realized that no wig was ever going to make me look like my old self. No matter the price, no matter the brand. Sure they help me feel more like my old self, give me confidence, and hide my alopecia from the world. However there will never be a day where I slap a wig on my head and think, "Oh man that looks like 2014 Supriya! No doubt!" Yeeeeah that is just not a thing.Speaking of, I had a moment of alopecia disdain on Friday. I was out on the town for my girl Alanna’s bachelorette party! We posed for a photo together and my eyebrow had the classic alopecia sheen. The one that comes hand in hand with having no actual hair growing from your brows. Yes, my brows have tats and makeup, but no matter what I do that sheen always remains. I looked at our pic and the first thing I noticed was the glimmering shine coming from my brow. Seriously, why is that?! There has got to be some makeup magic that fixes it and I am just too much of a newb to figure it out. To top that off, we were dancing our booties off and my head felt like a hot tub of sweat and heat. At one point I went into a bathroom stall, took off my wig, and used some TP to dry it off. Can’t a girl just drop it like its hot without having to worry about the aftermath to her wig?! Minus those two things, I had an amazing night out. Alopecia can work my nerves, piss me off, and make me embarrassed, but you better believe I am NOT going to let this shit ruin my nights out with my gals! 

Brows Or Bust

You guys. I’ve been sick as hell this past week. I thought I could push through and force this thing out of me until Friday night hit. I had the energy of a sea slug riding the struggle bus. I went to bed with the chills and woke up in the middle of the night with a fever. I got up to pee and ended up laying on the bathroom floor covered in sweat. When I woke up, I took my butt to the urgent care and got myself some antibiotics. I proceeded to spend the rest of my Saturday horizontal. I cannot remember the last time I was so worthless. Walking to the kitchen took all of my energy and I could barely eat. Luckily the antibiotics seem to be working because I woke up Sunday morning feeling better. By better I mean that I can stand for 5 minutes without requiring a chair and/or bed to crash in. I’m still far from 100%, but I think it is safe to say I am on the mend. *knocks on wood* My boyfriend was getting ready to take me to urgent care when I said, “Wait let me draw on my eyebrows first!” I walked my feeble body to the bathroom and did some speed eyebrow drawing. I also slapped on some mascara for good measure. Did this make me look any better? HECK NO. I still looked sick AF because I was sick AF! So, I have to ask myself why?! It was literally 7:15 in the morning on a Saturday. What was I so scared of?? First of all, half the world is barely awake at 7:15 on a Saturday. They surely aren’t at the urgent care. Second of all, who cares if they are?! If they are there, they are likely dealing with their own medical issue and could care less if I drew on my eyebrows that day. Lastly, if someone did see me in this state, it would most likely be a stranger so why does it even matter? It is in passing. It is someone who I may see for a few minutes and will never see again for the rest of my life. Why was it SO important for me to put on brows and mascara? I don’t really have an answer for this. I think it is just one of my underlying alopecia insecurities. Maybe one day I will give no fucks and not give it a second thought, but today I still give some fucks and brows and mascara is as minimalist as I get.

Brows on Fleek

Happy New Year friends!! Resolutions aren’t really my jam, but I love me a New Year! I enjoy the perception of a fresh start and the feeling of putting the past year behind me. This year is a little different because I actually really loved 2018. This is the first time in a long time that I’m not eager to complete one year and start over. I’m hoping 2019 will step up and say, “Oh you think 2018 was good? You ain’t seen nothin yet sista friend!” Fingers, toes, and eyes crossed! Today I want to talk a little bit about transition from alopecia areata (hair loss in small patches on my scalp) to alopecia universalis (full body hair attack leaving me with the same amount of hair as your local beluga whale). I lost my scalp hair and arm hair around the same time. The rest of my hair remained. Still had to shave my legs, still had to thread my brows and wax off my mustache. I really wanted things to stay that way. I told myself that I could handle losing my scalp hair, but if I lost my eyebrows or eyelashes, I would not be able to handle it. For about a year my body granted my wish and life was as dandy as it can be for a bald, single, 30 something gal. Then in the spring of 2016, my immune system decided to flip me the bird and started to attack my eyebrows. I was SUCH a mess during this time frame. I’ve spent the greater part of my adult life focusing on health and nutrition. I work out 6 days a week and I eat healthy most of the time. I do this so I can have control of what I look like. Alopecia ripped that control away from me. There was literally nothing I could do to stop my body from waging this war. Let me tell you, I tried EVERYTHING the internet offered up as a suggestion. Apple cider vinegar shots, experimental medical treatments, writing in a gratitude journal, eating paleo, eliminating gluten, black caster oil, essential oil potions, the list goes on and on. It became crystal clear that my immune system had full control and I had 0. This was infuriating, and I felt like the universe was punishing me for no reason. I was pity partying like it was 1999 day in and day out. Losing eyebrows was a whole new ball game. You never realize just how much your eyebrows impact your appearance until they are gone. I would look in the mirror and bawl because I didn’t even recognize the person looking back at me. I was SO angry at my body, so angry at the world, and if I’m being honest, I was so angry at God as well. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I would beg God to make it stop and tell him that it wasn’t making me stronger, that it was making me want to stop living. Again disclaimer, I realize now looking back that alopecia is not a reason to stop living. However, at that time the culmination of years of emotionally painful events was overwhelming and alopecia felt like the straw that was breaking this camel’s back.
I finally made the decision to get my brows microbladed. My BFF Tiffany recommended her friend Lea to me. Lea is my eyebrow angel. I was so scared when I met her for our initial consultation. I mean I was about to let someone tattoo my face. I could leave looking fabulous, or I could leave looking like Maleficent. I realllly didn’t want to look like an Indian Maleficent. The second I met Lea, all of those worries faded away. 1. Lea is stunningly beautiful. I knew if she could make my brows 1/18 as nice as hers, I would be okay. 2. She has the most amazing positive energy. She loved my bald head and spoke about my features in such an uplifting away that I actually felt pretty when I was around her. 3. She was an absolute saint when it came to my crazy ass body. Fun fact, if you have alopecia there is also a chance your body will reject the microblading ink. It doesn’t happen to everyone, and its not typical. Of course, it happened to me. A few days into the healing process the majority of the hair strokes were gone, and I was completely devastated. It was like losing my natural brows all over again. Lea however, was not going to let me throw in the towel. She insisted I would have brows, and did not have a speck of doubt that I would. I can’t remember exactly how many times I went back to see her, but she was totally right. Girlfriend gave me brows again! It gave me back a sense or normalcy. When I took my makeup off at the end of the day, I no longer felt like an alien version of myself. I no longer felt like the person looking back at me in the mirror was a total stranger. I felt like I received a tiny piece of me back. Thank you, Lea, I will forever be so unbelievably grateful for you and your kind, sweet, positive soul. For my readers, if any of you are in Denver and are considering getting your brows did, you need to go check her out at The Brow Bar & Co. No this is not an ad, just a friend guiding you to my eyebrow angel who will 100% make sure your eyebrows are on fleek.
I lost my lashes in 2017, and while I was annoyed by it, it wasn’t crushing. At that point I had to just throw my hands up in the air and laugh. I’ve always worn top lid liner, so it was not noticeable to anyone unless they were inches away from my face. If you’re inches away from my face, there’s a bigger problem than me not having lashes LOL. Somewhere in 2017 I lost the rest of my body hair including my nose hair. To be honest, I love the fact that I don’t have to shave my legs. I love the fact that my arms no longer look like I am part Woolly Mammoth. It does create a new normal though. For instance, you forget that brows, lashes, and nose hair actually serve a purpose. I cannot tell you how much crud would make its way into my eyeballs. For someone with no hair, I seemingly always had cat hair in my eye. I quickly learned the importance of nose hair the first time I cried without nose hair. It was as if someone had turned on a snot fountain. I was simply not prepared for that. In 2018 I got my lashes and some of my nose hair back. Needless to say, this has made allergy season far more bearable. Welp, that’s all I’ve got for today my loves. I hope you are all having an amazing start to the New Year!!! I wish everyone a year filled with abundant blessings –lots of love, happiness, money, joy, and relationships. Talk to you next week boos!