Drop It Like Its Hot

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On Saturday I dedicated my evening to a wild night of sipping beers and washing wigs. Nothing says party like awkwardly sitting on the bathroom floor while washing an expensive pile of hair in a bucket. After 2 hours of air drying, I set up my normal drying station. Blow dryer, hair products, flat iron, brush, and ipad. I don’t fully understand why it takes me 78974545512 times more time to dry my wig hair than it did my bio hair, but this is just one of the many medical mysteries of alopecia. To help kill some time, I always throw on a bingey TV show. I am one of those weirdos who will binge watch the same show 1-2x a year for the rest of eternity. This week’s choice was Sex and the City. Do you guys remember the episode when Samantha and Carrie go wig shopping after Samantha lost her hair to chemo? It goes something like this: 

Wig shop owner: [places wig on Samantha] This is Candy. Shes very popular.

Samantha: I dont think you're listening. I dont want to look like Candy, I just want to look like myself.

Wig shop owner: Ma'am, these are wigs. They're not ever gonna look exactly like you. 

Samantha: That is not acceptable 

Wig shop owner: We could style the bangs. 

Samantha: Don't touch my head. 

Wig shop owner: I've worked with many women with cancer. 

Samantha: I don't have cancer. I have a premier and I don't want some second rate wig named after a hooker. My hair is my thing. This [hands wig back] is bull shit. 

I just sat there and laughed. Holy relatable batman. “I just want to look like myself”. There came a point on my alopecia journey where I realized that no wig was ever going to make me look like my old self. No matter the price, no matter the brand. Sure they help me feel more like my old self, give me confidence, and hide my alopecia from the world. However there will never be a day where I slap a wig on my head and think, "Oh man that looks like 2014 Supriya! No doubt!" Yeeeeah that is just not a thing.Speaking of, I had a moment of alopecia disdain on Friday. I was out on the town for my girl Alanna’s bachelorette party! We posed for a photo together and my eyebrow had the classic alopecia sheen. The one that comes hand in hand with having no actual hair growing from your brows. Yes, my brows have tats and makeup, but no matter what I do that sheen always remains. I looked at our pic and the first thing I noticed was the glimmering shine coming from my brow. Seriously, why is that?! There has got to be some makeup magic that fixes it and I am just too much of a newb to figure it out. To top that off, we were dancing our booties off and my head felt like a hot tub of sweat and heat. At one point I went into a bathroom stall, took off my wig, and used some TP to dry it off. Can’t a girl just drop it like its hot without having to worry about the aftermath to her wig?! Minus those two things, I had an amazing night out. Alopecia can work my nerves, piss me off, and make me embarrassed, but you better believe I am NOT going to let this shit ruin my nights out with my gals! 

Go Shorty...Its my Birthday!

You guys…it’s happened. I’m officially closer to 40 than I am 30. I suppose technically that happened when I was 35 and 1 day, but from my brain’s perspective it didn’t happen until yesterday. Dun dun dunnnn. If 36-40 is anything like this bday weekend, then I have nothing to be afraid of. *says this while knocking on wood*…*okay it is fake wood..Target night stands for the win* I spent Saturday turning up with 30 something of my favorite humans. We went to Howl at the Moon and danced our little booties off!! If you’ve never been to howl, it’s a dueling piano bar that has a club/dance partayyy feel. 10/10 recommend if you like to drop it like its hot and take jell-o shot out of syringes. 0/10 recommend for food. We ordered cheesy tots that tasted like frozen tots that were microwaved for 37 seconds and served with luke warm nacho cheese. Which is fine because who gives a shit when you can distract yourself by dancing to pianos playing Cardi B?!
These last few months I’ve tried to focus more on things I’m grateful for. I truly believe you can change your life if you shift your focus from bitching about the bad to being thankful for the good. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not Susie sunshine and rainbows 24/7 365, but I’m doing may best to push out negativity from my life as best I can. That is why I'm choosing 5 things about ALOPECIA that I am grateful for. I will always think this disease is a douche canoe asshole, BUT today is my quest for the silver lining!1. Faster than the speed of light…she is ready! – I can leave the gym sweaty as hell, and look fresh faced and ready to go in 30 min. I can do it in under 30 min if I just wipe the sweat of my dome and throw on a wig. When I had hair, there was literally no way to accomplish this without looking like a ratchet mess. Win!2. Aint nobody got time for shaving – Not having to shave is the biggest blessing of all time. I don’t have to worry that I will have stubble 30 seconds after getting goosebumps. I don’t have to consider getting a blood transfusion after slicing open my leg in the shower. I don’t have to start saving for laser hair treatment. I don't have to spend stupid amounts of money on razors each one. Badabing! Win!3. Maybe she was born with it…maybe its Maybelline – Before alopecia, my makeup skillz were mediocre at best. I’m by no means Ash Holm or anything now, but I've learned a smidge more about how this makeup shiz works. I’m no longer deathly afraid of fake lashes or red lipstick. Heck by the end of this year I may even learn how to contour my face!! Either way I'm having so much fun with it. Sooooo...WIN!4. I got friends in low places – I have made some of the BEST baldie friends on the planet through this disease. Literally humans I have never once met, but are my ride or dies. I am forever grateful for the people alopecia has brought into my world. Without them, I probably would have never made it to this place of healing. Win!5. My cupeth fulleth – This blog has brought so much damn fulfillment into my life. It’s given me a sense of purpose and a drive to do more and do better. It is a feeling that I always knew was missing, but never knew how to attain. As a friend once said to me, "When you go through something traumatic, first you grieve, and then you determine what you can take from it to serve yourself and serve others". I think I'm finally figuring it out. Win!I know this list is silly, and if you’re experiencing hair loss, there is a chance you are scoffing at the thought of a silver lining. If you had told me 3 years ago there would be a silver lining, I would have probably kicked you in the shin. Now, I am holding onto hope that you will find it glimmer of hope. Last year I witnessed a lot of hard things happen to a lot of good friends. It has shaken me to my core. I realize more than ever that life is TOO DAMN SHORT to be ungrateful. I’m going to continue working on being grateful and maybe you will too, or maybe you will tell me to go suck a bag of Ds. Either way lets go live our best lives boos!