Off To The Races
Once upon a time, I was an avid endurance runner. You know the kind. I was one of those people who thought it was fun to spend a Saturday morning running 13.1 miles to get a medal, all the glory, and a sweet gram pic of me crossing the finish line with my hands in the air waving around like I just don’t care. I had a very standard race day look:1. Nike running crops2. Athletic running top (the long-sleeved purple target option for cold runs)3. Brooks running cap4. New balance running kicksI’d throw my hair into a pony and off I’d go. It was through these races that I met a fellow running loon, Troy. I was running a Kooky Spooky Halloween ½ marathon and noticed a runner who seemed to be having the TIME OF HIS LIFE. He was singing along to his tunes, snapping selfies, posing for the race course photographers. Through the power of Instagram hashtags, I found his account. After that race, we would frequently bump into each other at future races. Troy knew the pre-alopecia Supriya and all of her pony tail glory. Fast forward to the hot chocolate 15K in October of 2015. This was my first race post alopecia. I had decided that I would just maintain my normal race day look sans pony. At this point, I wasn’t comfortable working out in a wig. I only had my Follea, and there was no way I was wearing that piece for a run. I could barely ride in a hot car without it turning my entire head into a fountain of sweat. I decided to just plop a cap on my bald head and go. I figured, it would look just like I had my hair pulled back in a pony tail anyhow. The art of deception! The race started, and my friend Michelle and I took off. The hot chocolate is a blast of a race. Snacks and treats throughout the entire course and a piping hot bowl of chocolate fondue at the finish line. The best part of running is the food! Am I right?! In typical Denver running addicts anonymous fashion, I saw Troy throughout the race. In typical Troy fashion, he snapped many fun “runfies” (runner selfies for you non-running folk). When the race completed, I received notifications that I had been tagged in some of Troy’s photos. I excitedly scrolled to the pics and froze. I wanted to throw up. It did not look like I was wearing my hair pulled back in a pony tail. It looked like I was the baldest of bald chicks who slapped a hat on her head to hide it. I panicked. I hadn’t publicly told anyone other than my close circle that I was bald. I was so scared that someone would see me in these pics and my secret would be out. I untagged myself and cried like I often did at the beginning of my alopecia journey. I wanted the old days back. The days where I could feel my pony tail bouncing on my back, while I attempted to PR a run. The days where I felt like I looked like a bad ass in every race pic. This was the first time I felt embarrassed and ashamed of what I had allowed myself to look like on the race course. 
I recently reconnected with Troy and he was kind enough to send me these pics. When I look at them now, I realize something…I do look like a bad ass in these. I look strong, I look healthy, I look happy! I look like I’m doing something that not a lot of people can do and loving the shit out of it. I look the way anyone should look when they are running a race with HOT CHOCOLATE in the title. I couldn’t see it then, but I can see it now. It is just another reminder that hindsight is 20/20 with alopecia. In the hardest moments its so hard to see anything other than BALD, BALD, BALD. It is so hard to look in a mirror or look at a photo and think positive thoughts. It is so easy to look at yourself and call yourself ugly. It is easy because you actually feel those things. It is not until you take a step back and let yourself heal that you start to see things for what they are. Beauty is not hair. Beauty is loving yourself the way you are. Beauty is the times you stayed strong when you didn’t think you could last for another second. Beauty is when you can find happiness and peace within yourself as you are. To all my baldie boos who aren’t there yet, please keep fighting to get there. I was you too!! I didn’t think happiness was ever going to be in the cards again. I didn’t think I’d every be okay with alopecia. I didn’t think that this day would ever come, but it did!! This means it will come for you too!! Keep the faith! xoxoxo
I quit crossfit for many reasons…one of them being exhausted by thinking about my scalp. Head and shoulders commercials don’t think about scalps as much as I do. Next up, I decided to focus on running with a hat on and lifting at home. Here is the thing, even with a hat on I still felt like people were starting and wondering who this bald girl was running by. Also, my freeze baby head would get so damn cold!! Finally, I decided to take my talents to the apartment complex gym. At this point I purchased a under the hat wig from hip hats with hair. Its like a wig, but the cap is cloth with no hair. The goal is to prevent your scalp from roasting to 1000000 degrees while wearing fake fair. In theory this was an okay option. The piece was designed to be worn as a pony tail, but I felt it looked very unnatural as a pony. Instead I wore it as a side braid, but you could see the pink cloth through the hat hole. Not ideal. A good option, but not the right fit for me. Then I had my Goldilocks moment and found the solution that was juuuuust right. I had purchased a less expensive synthetic wig to wear to the pool I decided to try that at the gym Ding ding ding we had a winner!! I still prefer a side pony over an actual pony though. I think this looks most natural on me. Now my love for the gym is back, and my workouts are strictly me focusing on being as bad ass as possible. No thoughts are given to my head situation. Can I get a Hallelujah?! I’m sure you may have a few questions, so here is my attempt at being Miss Cleo and predicting what you may ask.Does it get hot?Ish depending on my wig. The synthetic I wear now doesn’t get so hot that I feel like I’m going to pass out if I don’t dunk my head in an ice bath. It does get hotter than natural hair, but its been so long since I’ve had natural hair that I don’t even remember what that feels like.Are you saying I shouldn’t workout bald? Heck no man! I say do what YOUR Goldilocks moment tells you to do. If you feel your best working out bald, then yes boo go rock that shit!! What about scarves? Scarves just aren’t my cup of tea, but I know a ton of alopecian babes who love to workout in theirs. 10/10 would recommend if that is what makes you happy. Have you ever had any wig malfunctions while working out? Thankfully no! I secure that hat on so tight it requires the jaws of life to remove. I have had an eyebrow makeup malfunction. Let’s just say I tried a new eyebrow product, got off the ellipctial and realized my eyebrows had created rivers of makeup all over my face. Luckily my gym is filled with creepers so I considered it creeper deterrent. Lemonade. Out. Of. Lemons. Baby. Have you ever run a race with a wig? YES! My hip hats with hair wig is what I was wearing when I PRd my half marathon with a sub 2 time!! This race was crazy AF because it bounced between rain, snow, sleet, and hail the ENTIRE time. But the wig held up like a boss bitch.
If you have any other questions, please feel free to reach out! I’m not an expert on navigating this alopecia life, but I’m happy to talk to you about what has worked for me. That’s all for now! Lots of love to you my boos!